“It’s the Most Wonderful Time of the Year”... Or is it?
By Irene Eastland, LCMHC
For some, it may be the worst time of year. Why? Well, as we see today, finances are tight for most families in the United States and around the world. It seems there are endless bills, and not enough money to go around - while buying gifts is nice and all, it’s also difficult to choose gifts over feeding your family.
To top it off, we have commercial after commercial indoctrinating us to believe that spending money is what makes people in our lives happy with us, and that it makes us look good because we buy them things. The commercials don’t care if you have $20,000 in credit card debt, or if you can barely afford your car payment - buy the outrageously priced gifts because you don’t want to be a bad person!
While this isn’t true, the messaging is clear in our world that we need to buy, buy, buy, whether it makes us feel good or not, isn’t a priority to think about. This messaging binds us to shame and guilt for not overspending, but we can use a few different strategies this holiday season to overcome overspending, guilt about saying “no” to gifts, and learning to be content with what we are able to give and what we are given.
Take a Step Back: Taking Time to Plan Ahead
The holidays seem to sneak up on us every year. With the hustle and bustle of school starting, school events, and more happening in our family life, we have no time to slow down and look at what we can do to plan ahead for the holidays. Today, I want to challenge you to take the time to step back, and make a plan.
Benjamin Franklin said, “if you fail to plan, you are planning to fail”. This statement has been true in many areas of my own life where I failed to plan, and I can attest to how planning has helped me succeed. Let’s take a moment to look at some priorities you might have for your holiday shopping this year, and start you with a plan - so you don’t have to fall back into the same old patterns.
Instead of waiting for the holidays to sneak up on you, take time this week to plan ahead.
Make a List
Rather than buying for everyone, buy for your immediate family (parents, kids, spouse) and your closest friends (think someone who you’d love to see get a gift this holiday season). By giving gifts out of love and choice, you are freeing yourself from giving out of obligation and a “have-to” mindset.
The “have-to” mindset steals the joy from the holiday and forces people into a corner where they’re struggling to make ends meet, but also trying to “impress” others or buy something because they “have-to”. The reality is, you don’t have to buy for anyone, not even your family if you are not able to do so. If you are struggling in a way that prevents you from even gifting to your family, you could consider family resource centers in your local area, or places like the salvation army, or thrift shops to help you find reduced and free items.