Let’s Talk: What is Toxic Stress, and How does it impact daily living?
Written by: Irene Eastland, LCMHC
Toxic stress is a relatively new term, coined in the early 2000’s, as a way to describe the stress children experience when they are exposed to violence, and other traumatic experiences for prolonged periods of time. This term can be applied to adults as well, who are in constant exposure to stressful situations, such as chronic illnesses, living in poverty, or in abusive situations - again, for prolonged periods of time. Toxic stress, by definition, is a form of stress that does not go away and is felt daily by an individual. Some may not even notice toxic stress as stress because of how long they’ve been experiencing it for. For some it may seem “normal”, as I’ve heard people say “anxiety didn’t even cross my mind, this is how I feel all the time”. About 20 percent of Americans experience toxic stress effects on a regular basis. As counselors, we believe it’s time to talk about what toxic stress is, how it affects daily living, and what options are out there to treat toxic stress. Let’s dive into how toxic stress is different from regular stress.
Stress versus Toxic Stress
This may sound irrational, but it’s true - stress can be a good thing. Never heard that before? Well, it’s not uncommon to think “stress is bad” or “I shouldn’t be so stressed”. Mainly because people aren’t aware of the difference between toxic stress and typical stress. Typical stress is considered manageable, meaning you can probably handle it on your own, or maybe with a little support. It usually subsides after the stressful event is over (i.e. meeting a work deadline or making the appointment you’ve been avoiding). Stress can also drive you to be successful, in that it can push you to meet said deadlines, and it can help you to stay motivated on a long run or during a difficult time in your life.
Unlike regular stress, toxic stress is the opposite. It hinders your ability to perform on a regular basis, it causes you to miss deadlines, creating more stress, and further plummeting your mind into a stress cycle loop. Toxic stress creates medical issues, such as GI problems, heart issues, and a decreased ability to handle pain. Toxic stress can also mimic mental health disorders, or create mental health difficulties such as anxiety and depression. When you’re stuck feeling constantly stressed, depression starts to set in because of the feeling that you’re “not normal” or you “must be broken”. The good news is that you’re not broken, you’re overly stressed.
Having toxic stress in your life can impact every facet of your daily living, and so it’s not “regular” stress, it’s unnecessary stress that is constant, unending - despite the difficult/stressful time being over. There should be an emphasis on the situation being over because if you’re still living in an abusive relationship, extreme poverty, or dealing with chronic illness - it can be difficult to overcome toxic stress, not impossible - but it will require lots of effort to overcome - you can do it though!
Let’s talk about how to spot toxic stress environments, relationships, and more to hopefully keep you from being in those situations.
What Causes Toxic Stress?
Environment
First up, your environment. This is anywhere you’re spending your time. If your home is not a safe place to be, it can cause toxic stress. If your workplace is unsupportive, you work long difficult hours, and you’re constantly worried about whether you will have a job or not - this can be an environment where stress starts to become toxic. If you’re in a school setting where people are unsupportive, the workload is overwhelming, and you’re under constant financial constraints - this can also cause toxic stress.
Sometimes it’s not simple or easy to change your environment, and it’s very difficult to change a toxic environment if everyone seems to be comfortable with how things are in that place. If you’re able to, changing jobs within a company, or finding secondary employment can start to alleviate the toxic stress experienced by that environment. If you’re able to switch schools, classes, or degree programs, you will likely escape that toxic stress you’re experiencing in the school environment.
Another form of environmental stress is not having access to adequate shelter, food, water, and clothing. Or having limited access to these things. Living in extreme poverty and wondering where you will get your next meal leaves you without your basic needs being met. The stress of constantly wondering how you will survive can create toxic stress. With increased social support, and community resources, this can become less stressful. However, finding those resources can be a source of stress as well, which can become toxic and overwhelming if you don’t perceive you have support. Let’s talk about how lack of support in relationships and more can also create toxic stress in your life.
Relational
Unfortunately, many people have experienced abuse in the United States and around the world. Abuse can be anything from physically being hurt, to neglectful parenting, or an intimate partner or friend physically, emotionally, or psychologically harming you in some way. Abuse is the number one cause of toxic stress because of the lack of support you may feel. Especially since abuse occurs when someone is isolated, or feels isolated from outside supports. If you had someone only experiencing a lack of support, this alone can cause toxic stress to start to build. When you add in confounding factors such as abuse or neglect, you are more likely to experience toxic stress. Talking to a professional, and making a plan of action to get away from these environments can help alleviate toxic stress - finding social support is the biggest factor in being able to do these things.
Other causes of toxic stress in relationships can be experiencing your own addiction to substances, or watching someone else struggle with substances. Toxic stress can also come from experiencing chronic illness, major illness such as cancer, or caring for someone else who is struggling with a chronic illness or major illness. Having limited respite from caring for someone who is chronically ill can become taxing and overwhelming for anyone, having access to resources for support and time away from the caretaking duties can alleviate toxic stress. Additionally, it can feel isolating to deal with an addiction due to family not wanting to help anymore and from having finances reduced due to the increase in addiction. Finding substance abuse support through counseling, or other resources can greatly reduce the toxic stress experienced. In addition, support groups for those experiencing chronic illness can help to reduce toxic stress as well.
Finally, being isolated in general can become a major source of stress. If you’re feeling isolated from the world around you, which many have felt since the 2020 pandemic, you’re not alone. Human beings are not robots, or able to do life alone. While some may wish to do life alone because of the hurt they’ve experienced, this deep isolation can increase the toxic stress you might experience. Many people believe since they’ve been hurt they can never find a community of people to support them again, however, support groups, group therapy, and many community resources exist to help you from being isolated. Isolation, while it can seem safe, is contributing to toxic stress and other mental health struggles people face. It’s time to connect again. Let’s talk about some symptoms of toxic stress, and if you’re experiencing these, the last part of this blog is for you because it’s all about how to treat toxic stress.
Symptoms of Toxic Stress
Emotional
When someone is experiencing toxic stress they may feel constantly irritated, on-edge, have mood swings over the little things, and they may feel panicked more easily or constantly anxious about the “what if’s” of life. Some may even feel emotionally numb all the time, and feel unsure of themselves in many areas of life, which makes them feel depressed or even more anxious. Someone experiencing toxic stress may not even notice that it’s become toxic because they simply have “always felt this way” and they don’t think much about it - but it continues to impact their daily life.
Daily Living
Along with emotional difficulties, someone experiencing toxic stress may start to withdraw more and more into isolation. They may stop engaging in activities they once loved and enjoyed because of the constant bombardment of negative thoughts and feelings when they try to enjoy something. Some may start to engage in more risky behaviors such as drinking in excess, driving under the influence, or trying things they otherwise would not - while this may seem counterintuitive to having constant anxiety, it’s part of how the brain is trying to cope with numbness alongside the anxiety. Additionally, someone with toxic stress may have trouble sleeping or eating regularly. This can lead to physical and medical issues.
Physical
Some living with toxic stress may begin to experience migraines, frequent headaches, gastrointestinal issues, heart palpitations, or increased muscle tension. In the book The Body Keeps The Score by Besser van de Kolk, it discusses how individuals with past trauma will continue to hold space for these issues in their bodies. Our bodies are unlikely to forget what we have or what we are experiencing. It’s not possible to override our bodies being ground in reality, but it is possible to heal our bodies from the toxic stress and other traumatic experiences through time, therapy, and other strategies, you can find relief.
Treatment Options for Reducing Toxic Stress
Counseling
The first way to treat and reduce toxic stress is to find a supportive and understanding counselor that you can talk with. Some may struggle with this idea because of the stigma surrounding getting help in the first place. However, getting help is one of the signs you are strong because you are no longer willing to let toxic stress, trauma, and other problems you face, win. You can win your life back, take back your mental health, and start living a life with calm, peace, and clarity. If you’re ready for that process of healing to start today, feel free to connect with one of our counselors at Life in Bloom Counseling, today.
Taking Time
In Harvard’s article about “What We Can Do About Toxic Stress” it’s clear that children experiencing toxic stress need more time. More snuggles, more help, and more understanding to help them get through toxic stress experiences. This goes for adults as well. Being able to take time for yourself, find a supportive group of people, or even a new hobby to help yourself focus on something besides the anxiety and stress can help to start reducing that toxic stress. Being able to take the time you need to heal through the means you find most beneficial to you can be the best option in the long run. Caring for yourself first, and letting yourself know you are safe, you are loved, and you are no longer living in stressful situations can help you to start reducing that toxic stress.
Conclusion
While toxic stress is a new term, it’s not new. For generations we have been experiencing toxic stress, many passing it on from one generation to the next. Through abuse, neglect, maltreatment, and being unsupportive, individuals have continued to experience toxic stress through childhood and into adulthood causing a world of stressed people who then - pass it on in their work environments, schools, and other environments. The United States has some of the worst physical health of any developed country, and it’s clear to see that toxic stress could be playing a huge role in why people are so physically sick. Getting help to reduce toxic stress, and learning to overcome trauma and not pass it onto others is the key to a healthy and happy future for many.
It’s time to talk about toxic stress, and start to heal from it - in all areas of life. Are you ready?